I have always been a procrastinator. If there is a job to avoid I’m avoiding it. In fact for a while procrastination was my business. The thing is because I love to write my head is full of clouds. Big bubbles of thought, amusing anecdotes and tales that tug on your heart strings. Evoking emotion is my business these days. There is always something better to do. Look at me distracting you away from the point.
Often my to do list gets so long I am compelled to do anything but what’s on it. Like emptying a cupboard or drawer and rearranging its contents. A worthwhile task but not as pressing as submitting the meter readings, collecting school uniforms or changing the kids bedding. One of my favourite things to do, when I have the opportunity to catch up on some jobs alone, is take a run of procrastination.
I am often in mental chaos
Now we all know I love to run. Not in a show off, toned body, measuring my every distance, speed and fat burning, kind of way. But a slow and steady, wobbly bottom, I need this to clear my head and stay sane kind of way. Again a worthwhile task, but maybe not as essential as some tasks. I am useless at prioritising appropriately. That is why I am often in mental chaos.
Sadly since the arrival of the monkeys, procrastination has been allowed less mental space. They don’t give you time to procrastinate as much. You are constantly having to change direction at a moments notice to adequately navigate their needs. Take this morning, after taking exception to TM’s joke about a squirrel, MM threw a bowl of multigrain Hoops (Aldi’s best) all over the kitchen table. No space for procrastination with that one.
Despite incidents like this, I still never stop procrastinating about other things. So often small tasks are linked to big tasks. Big tasks I am too frightened, lazy or intimidated by to do. Like the gas meter being in the cupboard that I hide things in. Or ordering uniforms that need stitching up to fit. Or changing the beds and confronting the laundry mountain.
Mummy’s never ending list of things to do
I have a little notebook. One of many. Written on the front is “mummy’s never ending list of things to do”. There are short term and long term jobs listed in the book. I sometime decant jobs from the list on to smaller lists but as new jobs come up they are all recorded in one place. Really I should call it “mummy’s little book of procrastination.” Some jobs live on that list for months or even years.
Have I mentioned, I think I have, that I go back to work next week?The monkeys go back to school and Little Miss starts nursery. It is a huge change for all of us, all at once. There is so much to prepare to make the transition as smooth as possible. The reason I started the 31 days of self care was to try and focus my messy mind at a time of maximum procrastination. It has certainly helped, as I feel a little less overwhelmed. Although I still feel it most days. So where do I go? Off for a run. Why? Because I need to isolate the procrastination.
I was demented within 30 minutes
In order to attempt to procrastinate less I recently tried out a tip I read on social media. It suggests never walking past one of your simpler tasks. Just doing it and moving on. Problem was my house is full of simple tasks. I couldn’t go anywhere without being required to pick something up, fix something, clean something, wipe something, put something away or sort something out. I was demented within 30 minutes. My little procrastination run, helps to focus my mind on the more important tasks. Also I keep endeavouring to keep focused on the small stuff without getting stressed if I cannot do it all.
Therefore, I will go into the cupboard under the stairs, fight my way through the hidden junk, read the meter and put it all back. Take a deep breath and push the guilt to one side. I will make time to collect the school uniforms and take up those trousers legs. The other things like farting about on social media after 8pm will have to wait. Finally, there is no more time left to procrastinate over laundry mountain, as we have reached critical levels.
Maybe it is just careful decision making
Right now though, the monkeys are on another settling in morning, and thanks to this post I have taken control. All my runs of procrastination have prepared me to tackle some of the things I have been avoiding . In two monkey free hours, I have sorted two bags and two boxes for the charity shop. I have moved into the loft a few bits I may one day sell (a little bit of procrastination there perhaps). I’ve tackled laundry mountain and washed bedding. The uniforms still need collecting and the meter readings still need submitting. I have however, sorted the cupboard under the stairs again.
I achieved all of this because every run in the last few weeks has been the planning. When it came to it, my mind was focused and the job done faster. Ok, procrastination may not be great but it could just be considered careful decision making instead. What do you think, am I just making excuses again?