Today we go camping. Well glamping in a wooden pod. I mean who wants to put up a tent with three crazy monkeys running around? We also paid £2.50 each extra for a little camp bed each. Mr LMR and I haven’t been camping since July 2011. Top Monkey was not quite one and we only went for two nights. It felt like two months. Not because it was bad, it was brilliant. It was just that so much crazy stuff happend in a mere 48 hours.
When we arrived at the campsite we were very pleased to discover that we had a little plot, on a raised area away from other campers. With TM’s lack of desire to sleep it reduced the stress significantly. Nothing worse than thinking you are keeping the whole campsite awake while your baby is screaming. It is why we chose somewhere only 45 minutes away from home.
In a stroke of genius, we put up the travel cot to keep TM safe and managed to get our brand new tent up with few problems. He was so excited that he just shrieked at everything. Everything up and running we started the bbq. Food out and ready to eat, we were suddenly overwhelmed by a team of stealthy ducks. They had managed to sneak up on to our little embankment without making a sound. The river was approximately 100 yards away. They had come a long way in silence. As soon as they were close enough, they began quacking furiously and rushed towards our dinner. It was like a small army going over the top shouting charge.
This happened every mealtime. We never saw them coming. We would run around in panic chasing them out of our spot, flapping tea towels and trying to save our food. During one duck dash Mr LMR almost broke his neck when he attempted to kick a duck mid run down hill. I don’t think he actually intended to harm the duck but instant kalma I guess.
Other than the duck we had a whole host of other visitors whilst camping. The most notable was a frog which lurked out from under the tent during breakfast, shortly after our first duck invasion of the day. I had also accidentally inhaled an earwig that day, even before I got out of bed. It had crept into my inhaler in the night. I know it was an earwig as I luckily coughed it back out after a few minutes of choking uncontrollably.
Our most exciting tent invader however arrived on night one. In the early hours I became aware of some scraping noises near our sealed sleeping quarters. Our tent had an unsealed middle area with sealed sleeping pods on either side. I, half consciously, concluded that it must be rabbits and dosed back off. Mr LMR, a fan of wildlife on TV not in real life, shook me awake moments later.
“There is something in the tent” he whispered. A little bit of panic in his voice. “It’s rabbits outside” I hoped this was enough for him to go back to sleep. It wasn’t. “I can’t check myself. I’ve left my glasses on the table out there” he said. Now I knew I was getting up. Mr LMR is almost completely blind without his specs on.
I unzipped from the top of the pod. I peered out in the darkness and made out an object about the same size and shape as a watermelon. After retiring to obtain the lantern, I identified the largest hedgehog I have ever seen. This unleashed a tirade of expletives and predictions of fleas from Mr LMR. We hatched a plan which involved rolling the hedgehog out of the tent with a folding chair then baracading ourselves in with anything we had.
It took approximately 30 minutes of nervous giggling and panicking before we were back in bed. Sadly we were awoken another 30 minutes later by more rustling. I peeped out again and the hedgehog was back. Frozen mid step across the tent. It was as if he was thinking, “if I don’t move, she will never see me.”
Despite wonderful weather on our first day and morning, our second day and night brought torrential rain. Not a problem on our little raised camping spot. However, it arrived during the trek we had taken during the afternoon. Poor TM got soaked in his little back pack. A lovely pub tea was had in the nearby village then back to the tent.
The rain was relentless. TM had been rocked to sleep in his pushchair on our first night camping. Then transferred to bed. This was a big success and even the hedgehog antics failed to disturb him. Not much hope on night two. Trapped in the tent we couldn’t rock him off to sleep due to a lack of space. We let him stay up but he was soon making fun with stuff he shouldn’t. Nothing would encourage him to sleep and by midnight it was wearing thin.
Luckily, we had wine…
Two days offline
As I said before, despite all of the antics, we had a great time camping and TM loved it. Hopefully, our two day trip glamping will be just as much fun. This time there is a bar and restaurant on site so no need to rush back in the rain. There is a farm and a park so plenty to do. I don’t think there are any ducks in residence and the pod should keep out the hedgehogs, frogs and earwigs.
Anyway, here is the thing. As of this afternoon, I will be offline. I am not sure if there is any internet on site, but if there is I don’t really care. I have recently realised that my blog and social media are cluttering my brain a bit. Therefore, I will be switching off for our trip away to focus on the monkeys and maybe even read a book (probably a magazine) and share a glass (probably a bottle) of wine with Mr LMR. This is, of course, dependant on sleeping monkeys.
I have posted this today to keep you going while I am away. However, I will be back online on Thursday. So don’t miss me too much.