51 Comments

  1. Jen

    You poor poor sweetheart! I am so saddened that you have endured such an invasion into your home and your heart. I felt my own heart tear for the times I know I have acted too harshly on my own kids. My lack of control and temper as I have numerous times ‘lost it’ with my kids. I am learning to use other methods as I learn more about them and myself and learn to cope better. But you? You were doing what I strive to do as a mum! Be in control, be cool and to have a plan that has a beginning a middle and an end. You dealt with that so incredibly well.
    So I salute you mummy, with a job well done. Lots of love xx

    • Jen you really must not give yourself such a hard time. I am not always cool and I so often do “lose it”. I just try and learn a little every time. It really is so hard sometimes. Just take it one step at a time and you will all get there. If I ever go too far I always try and say sorry and make up with the monkeys. I think I was more angry on Saturday because I was in control for a change. God forbid I had been shouting like I have in the past x

  2. Holy moly that is crazy! My daughter has severe Autism and often screams for no apparent reason (or no reason I can see anyway.) I often worry that my neighbours might think I’m in the wrong but thankfully as of yet nobody has called the police on me. I would have been in floods of tears, and how scary for your son!

    #Kcacols

    • Thank you Lauren. Your neighbours, like mine, obviously understand that parenting is often difficult and empathy is a more appropriate response. My son was terrified believing that the informer was going to take him away. Thankfully the police were wonderful x

  3. Oh my goodness I can’t believe that!

    I often joke that I’m surprised my neighbours haven’t called Social services at the tantrums we have over airbrushing, teeth brushing, getting dressed on time..ya know all the usual, but to have someone actually call the police – wow.

    Like you say, too often people turn a blind eye when children really are in danger, so it’s a tricky one, but putting a child on the naughty step – well that’s hardly abuse! Hope you’re ok now.
    Liz Burton recently posted…Homemade Dog Treats – Peanut Butter BiscuitsMy Profile

  4. Oh my goodness! I am shocked that someone would intervene like that. 99.9% of parents are doing what is right for their child and their family. Children react in different ways and need to be disciplined in different ways. You know your child and what works for him and for you. I’m so glad the police could see this.

  5. Oh my goodness! What an awful situation. It sounds like you handled it well but I can imagine how fast your heart must have been pounding. I’m glad that you were able to talk to some sensible police officers that read the situation well. It’s great that they spoke to your son about his behaviour. If the person who reported you really wanted to help your child, she should have done it in a calmer way than that. People are so judgemental-it is unreal! They always think their way is the best and that everyone else is doing something wrong. I’m glad things have calmed down for you all now though. But what a thing to have to go through!

  6. It never ceases to amaze me how complete strangers feel it’s ok to judge parenting, as the mum of a daughter with Asperger’s we are no stranger to meltdowns. If we all walked in each others’ shoes for a day we would view the world differently I think x

  7. This post hasn’t horrified me. What a vile and cruel woman. It saddens me to think there are people like this in the world. I am so glad that the police were lovely, they should be prosecuting her for wasting police time! Thank you for sharing.

    #SharingtheBlogLove

    • I shared it to try and make people think twice. By all means intervene if you are concerned but there are much more appropriate ways to do this than barging in and calling the police. Thank you Nicola for your support x

    • I wasn’t at the time. I am trained in safeguarding children and adults so I can understand why she might have had concerns because he was being very vocal about losing his iPad. I think she could have handled the situation much more appropriately x

    • Thank you Mary Louise. To be honest the reassurance of the officers who attended and the many comments on this post has been unbelievably reassuring. Thank you for adding to this. I was so worried about sharing it at first but the response has been amazing x

  8. I’m staggered that she came onto your property, I would have lost it at that point! If she was genuinely worried I think a knock on the door would have been a much better way to go. Isn’t it a crime to say you’re a police officer when you’re not? I hope that the reaction of the police and the support of your neighbours has made you feel better about the whole thing – I’m not sure I would have been as calm as it sounds like you were. Thanks for sharing this with us at #SharingtheBlogLove
    Katy – Hot Pink Wellingtons recently posted…#SharingtheBlogLove #21My Profile

    • I think she was a police officer but her behaviour was out of order in my eyes. I am wondering if I should rewrite as I certainly didn’t feel calm at the time. I was confident that I hadn’t done anything wrong but I guess everything can be misinterpreted if taken out of context. I shared this experience so that others might think twice about barging in without having a full picture x

  9. I’m astounded that someone would just basically walk and call the police without knowing details. What a relief everyone else was supportive. #sharingthebloglove

  10. Oh my goodness, I literally cannot believe that woman’s behaviour! I can’t even begin to imagine how she must have made you feel but I am so glad you had such supportive neighbours and by the sounds of it, police officers too. Thank you for sharing with #bigpinklink x

    • Thank you Hannah. Everyone’s comments have been so supportive and reassuring. Parenting is tough some days and we should have each other’s back. The comments I have received have really restored my faith in people x

  11. As someone who’s child also has extreme temper tantrums you have my sympathy! That woman doesn’t sound like the greatest police officer, thank goodness the ones who came were so much better!

    • It really is true that unless you have dealt with an extreme temper tantrum, then you have no idea. I did say that she might need some more training. It still makes me feel sad x

  12. That is just awful! Clearly she has never had to deal with that situation as others have said. Having a 4 year old diva myself I often have to deal with extreme tantrums and you dealt with it far better than I sometimes do! (I need to learn to not argue with a 4 year old!!!) #kcacols

  13. Oh the nerve of that woman! I am angry for you! To come into your garden is trespassing! I’m glad you came out of it okay and your friends supported you. Thank you for sharing this because hopefully it will lead something to think twice before judging and thinking the worst. There are responsible ways to act when you’re concerned for a child and that woman did not act responsibly. #kcacols

    • My son said that he was frightened but not of me or being outside. He said he was frightened that the strange woman had come to take him away. Thank you for your support x

    • I totally agree. I have no problem with someone coming to see if everything is ok. However, wading in in such a heavy handed way causes so much more harm. Thank you for your comment x

  14. I don’t think there are many parents who wouldn’t have been as angry in that situation, for a complete stranger to undermine your parenting and to call the police when she quite clearly didn’t know the situation was awful. Whilst I understand she was trying to protect your child it was the completely wrong way to go about it and for goodness sake in the 50s babies were put outside in all weathers for some fresh air so a bit of cold and fresh air wouldn’t of done him any harm.

    I think you handled this amazingly and so did the police, if only she could of as well.
    The Mummy Diary recently posted…Santa Comes to Giltbrook NottinghamMy Profile

    • Thank you. I agree. My mum was always a very straight forward parent and she often says of modern parenting “it is amazing any of you are still alive” because she thinks we are subjected to a ridiculous level of scrutiny these days x

  15. Gosh, that must have been so traumatic for you! I can see the sentiment of the woman intervening – as you say it’s too easy to turn away when children are being badly treated. BUT seeing a little boy stood on a step for a minute doesn’t mean he’s been badly treated. Had she watched for 15 minutes then maybe. If she’d knocked on the door and expressed concern only to be met with abuse them maybe. But to come on to your property and shout accusations without any opportunity to explain is wrong. Also, you’re right, it was irresponsible of her to leave before the police arrived if she was really that concerned.

    Glad you are all okay and that you at least got some good behaviour off the back of it! #KCACOLS
    Angela Watling recently posted…‘Meal of the Month’ – Tomato & olive spaghetti – November 2016My Profile

    • Thank you Angela. Your comment echo almost all of the other comments I have received. I have never claimed to be a perfect parent but to be accused of harming one of them when I am trying to do what is right is hurtful x

    • I agree. This is why I chose to share it. It is easy to judge when you don’t have the full picture but taking a moment to investigate properly or offer some help would have been more appropriate x

  16. OMG that is awful, how dare a complete stranger intervene like that. Isaac often gets rage when a game doesn’t go his way so I always make him switch it off and calm down but he stomps around the house in a rage. So pleased the police officers saw common sense too

  17. Oh my word what an awful thing to happen. Isn’t it just typical that this isolated moment was witnessed completely out of context. I’m glad the police were so sensible. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday.

  18. oh honey you poor thing!! That must have been incredibly hard and hurtful. I to can understand that she may have heard a child screaming and then seen a child outside and worried, but she handled it very badly. Like you said she could have approached it very differently!!! Maybe she has had a bad experience herself that made her extra sensitive and maybe she needs counselling if she is at a point where she is over reacting to situations like yours. Your poor child too what a situation to put put in by a stranger. We can not judge people or situations in a snap shot. You sound like an amazing mummy and I am so sad that you had to go through that!

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