Circular recovery

Being unwell is hard work. I had hoped that recovery would be easier than this. Problem is I have two issues that are directly in conflict with each other and the answers just aren’t that simple.

In the past whenever there is a problem I like to educate myself, make a plan and sort it out. Which is great but this particular problem is not that straight forward. It would appear that the vitamin D deficiency has taken a chunk out of a number of parts of my body. Including my metabolism. I have gained weight which I am finding impossible to shift. This in turn is impacting significantly on my sciatica especially as most of the weight has deposited itself around my middle. I have read that this is something to do with the body laying down fat stores in close proximity to the digestive system. So in addition to this, my lack of vitamin D has stripped me of my energy. Regular exercise is good for the sciatica but the exhaustion impacts on this. Also after a short distance the nerves in my lower back compress and my bladder control is weakened.

As you can see I am in a full blown catch 22. Ultimately I need to lose weight to improve everything. The deficiency makes this nearly impossible and a lack of ability to exercise to the level I used to is frustrating. What is the solution?

Health is the answer.

Or at least that is what I am telling myself. A circular situation of frustration, small losses and further gain has reached breaking point. I can no longer calorie count or cut out food groups. I am fairly confident that this has contributed to a lot of my problems. So I am going to focus on health. I have read that a lack of vitamin D can have a big impact on your gut health. Another reason for a slower metabolism. So I am limiting my focus to adding a variety of foods and watching my portions. I am trying to maintain smaller amounts of exercise because sitting still is not an option (especially as I can not sit, stand, lay down or walk for any length of time without going numb below the waist or becoming exhausted).

I am keeping it simple with pickled vegetables and pre prepped salad, eggs, oily fish and lean cuts of meat. I have limited the kids meals to a handful that I know they will eat. Simplicity and small steps are the only way forward on this slow and painful road to recovery. It is hard work juggling my own health with the needs of a busy family. Some days I barely keep up. Some days I fall well short. I have my support network and sometimes the monkeys recognise that I am not as capable these days. Although I may need to completely keel over before they acknowledge that I can’t do what I used to.

Right now I feel like an old woman but I am confident I will feel better again soon. I need not to be frustrated that I am not yet there but be grateful for every small step forward. One positive is my feet have almost completely healed! At least that takes some pressure off my ability to walk. Hooray!!!



  1. Aisling

    Hang in there Lou. I can totally relate to what you are going through, not the particular problem but the hard lesson in just how much everything is inter-connected and how one thing being off balance puts the whole system out of whack! It is exhausting and frustrating and often feels like a never ending journey. It’s a mental, emotional and spiritual struggle as much as a physical one. Slow and steady. Keep us posted. Xx

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